“To be or not to be”, one famous writer penned in his Soliloquy so many years ago, is still a question many of us ask today. Although, in today’s society it is less of whether we would rather live life miserably than die, and more of us living life at the expense of another. 

In each of us lives two dualities and though they all have different meanings and concepts, every culture has these dualities. In Theravada Buddhism they are called samsara and nirvana. In Taoist philosophy it is called Yin and Yang. There are many facets of dualism, such as described in Brittanicas explanation of Dualism in Religion, but that’s a rabbit hole we can go down another day.

At this moment, we are talking about our own personal dualities. These are not just good and bad, though they can be seen that way by others. Instead we see personal dualities as differences. Some examples are in how we talk to or treat others, the priorities we have in our lives, and how we see others. Recognizing our own dualities is just part of the task at hand. It’s knowing how we use them in our lives that is the vital part of it.

When we view another person, the way they eat, their lifestyle, the home they live in, their skin color or cultural differences, their attitude or temperament, and many times we make a determination of that person based on our experience with them. That first encounter. And if that encounter is a negative one in our eyes, we will always have that view of them, and in some cases, pass that view onto others with similar characteristics. “The verdict is in, and the judgment is guilty…” or whatever preconceived notion we label…meek, arrogant, ugly, weak, sexy, mousy, lazy…. determinations in your eyes will always follow them, and so we move on to the next person. Wash, rinse, repeat.

There too is another side to this view of duality at play. How we perceive ourselves in our actions or lack thereof. Baggage. Do we have regrets or host anxiety about choices we have made? Has something caused us fear that we cannot overcome? Does pride stand in our way of making choices that we know are right or wrong? Have we truly considered self forgiveness or tried to move on? Have we pasted that “neverending judgment” on our own foreheads?

What we all fail to understand is that we are ALL human. Contrary to popularity, none of us are perfect and we all have these dualities. We all have bad moments. We all have good moments… but ultimately there is good in all of us. We may not always show it, but those moments should not determine our fate in our own eyes or in the eyes of others. 

What a world it would be if each of us could all live every day looking past another persons’ offenses, knowing that their duality in that moment is swinging to the negative side. If we could put ourselves in their shoes and think “Something must have really gone wrong for them. I know how that feels.” 

Consider how much good it does, when we live with respect for others and self. How much of a good change you can make for someone else, just by being patient or kind.

Don’t be blinded by the hate and selfishness around us, that which wants to destroy you and everyone you come in contact with.

Live by this: Treat ourselves in that none of us are perfect, and respectfully treat all others the same.